This Collaborative Services section describes healthier, less costly, and more effective ways for resolving divorce issues and other kinds of disputes. Please contact me if you have any questions about how a Collaborative approach might help you in resolving divorce issues or other disputes or conflicts.

A COLLABORATIVE APPROACH TO DIVORCE
AND WHY IT IS BETTER FOR FAMILIES

The Collaborative Divorce (sm) model was developed in the early 1990's in Northern California by a group of attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial professionals whose experience with traditional divorce led them to the conclusion that litigation is injurious to families, especially to children. They were certain they could fashion a healthier way to help families through divorce. The Collaborative Divorce model has grown rapidly with practitioners throughout the United States and Canada.

In Collaborative Divorce, couples who have decided to end their marriage work with a team of professionals to avoid the arbitrary and uncertain outcomes of court and to achieve a divorce settlement that best meets the specific needs of both parties and their children. Collaborative Divorce focuses on settlement issues, and addresses communication dynamics. It offers a more healthy and effective forum for the discussion and resolution of the couple's divorce issues. The goal of Collaborative Divorce is to help the couple define and implement their most appropriate settlement and to learn new skills for more effective communication, conflict resolution and post-divorce co-parenting. In order to accomplish this goal, three independent disciplines work together as a team to integrate the legal, emotional, and financial aspects of divorce.

The Collaborative Divorce Team is made up of the following:

Two collaborative family law attorneys, one for each party.
Two mental health professionals who act as divorce coaches, one for each party.
One financial specialist.
A child specialist (when appropriate)

The Collaborative Divorce Team helps the couple to achieve a divorce that minimizes the negative economic, social, and emotional consequences that undermines families in the traditional adversarial divorce process. By maintaining a primary focus on the needs of children and the welfare of the family overall, the Collaborative Divorce approach helps parents provide their children with the emotional support, and healthy co-parenting they need.

The roles of the professionals on the Collaborative Divorce team are as follows:

THE ROLE OF THE COLLABORATIVE LAW ATTORNEY

Each person has a Collaborative Family Law attorney. In individual meetings between each party and their attorneys, and in joint meetings with both attorneys and both parties, the attorneys will:

1.) Represent the best interests of his/her respective client while maintaining the overall goal of a Collaborative Divorce Process.

2.) Work with the other Collaborative Law Attorney and the Collaborative Divorce Team to help the parties design the settlement agreement that is most appropriate for their family

3.) Facilitate the settlement discussion and incorporate the agreements the clients arrive at into the final settlement document.

THE ROLE OF THE COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE COACH

Both parties have a Collaborative Divorce Coach. Divorce Coaches are licensed mental health professionals. In individual and joint meetings the coaches work with the couple to:

1.) Identify and prioritize the concerns of each person.

2.) Make effective use of conflict resolution and communication skills.

3.) Develop effective co-parenting skills.

4.) Work collaboratively with the couple, their attorneys and other involved professionals to improve communication, reduce misunderstandings and solve problems as they come up.

The Collaborative Divorce process has demonstrated that the family can get through divorce in a more emotionally healthy way when the couple is able to learn how to interact and communicate with each other in a more respectful, honest and open manner. Communication and self-management skills are taught to parents by their Coaches. The couple uses these new skills in their settlement discussions, and in their post divorce co-parenting.

THE ROLE OF THE CHILD SPECIALIST

The Collaborative Team Child Specialist will work with the children and the parents to:

1.) Provide the children with an opportunity to voice his/her concerns regarding the divorce.

2.) Provide the parents with information and guidance to help their children through this process.

3.) Give information to the parties and the Collaborative team that will help the parties in developing an effective co-parenting plan for their children.

THE ROLE OF THE FINANCIAL SPECIALIST

The Collaborative team Financial Specialist works with the couple to:

1.) Provide the couple with on-going, practical financial guidance, planning, support, and budgeting guidance throughout the divorce process.

2.) Assist with the discovery process gathering and documentation of income, expense, asset, and debt information for the documents and proceedings.

3.) Make sure that both parties have a thorough understanding of their current financial situation.

4.) Educate the clients regarding the short and long-term economic consequences of settlement plans being considered enabling them to make fully informed decisions and choose what is most appropriate for their situation.

The parties control the Collaborative Divorce process. It keeps the decision-making power where it belongs, with the people affected by the outcome. This is very different from a court process where ultimately the court and state formulas decide what the divorce settlement and co-parenting arrangement will be. In the Collaborative Divorce model the couple sets the agenda for their divorce, and they determine the settlement that is best for their family. The parties retain full decision making authority and control.

There are requirements for what constitutes a Collaborative Divorce. Both parties must dedicate themselves to honesty, openness and a willingness to place the welfare of the entire family first. The desire to change ineffective communication patterns and the commitment to work at change are vital to a successful outcome such requirements. Communication training is as critical to the process as the legal and financial negotiations. If dysfunctional patterns are not changed, conflict persists. It is this focus on changing the couple's way of interacting with each other that makes the Collaborative Divorce process a better approach to divorce, and post divorce co-parenting.

IS THE COLLABORATIVE APPROACH THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR DIVORCE?

It may be, if:

1. You want an opportunity to obtain emotional, financial and legal help to guide you through your divorce.

2. You are concerned about containing the financial and emotional costs of divorce

3. You have children and want to make sure that their needs are addressed.

4. You want to minimize the conflict that often accompanies divorce.

5. You want a confidential process without adversarial attorneys and without going to court.

HOW A COLLABORATIVE TEAM CAN HELP
WHEN DIVORCE HAS ALREADY HAPPENED

For ex-couples who have already divorced and are experiencing continuing conflict, Collaborative Coaching can help them learn new tools for problem solving and better communication. The goal for post divorce Collaborative work is for the parties to learn how to reduce the conflict between them so that they can focus more fully on the needs of their children. The parties use the new skills and tools developed through Collaborative Coaching, to work together in healthy co-parenting. Other Collaborative services can be added as needed based on the needs of the parties. Examples of such additional services include consultation with the Child Specialist to assist in addressing concerns that the parties may have about their children. Collaborative Attorneys may be utilized if the parties wish to make adjustments to their divorce agreement.

HOW COLLABORATIVE COACHES CAN HELP
IN RESOLVING OTHER DISPUTES

The Collaborative approach is also appropriate for issues other than divorce. Where there is a dispute between two or more parties, Collaborative Coaches can help the parties learn more effective ways of addressing issues, so that future communication and dealings happen in a more healthy and productive manner. The Collaborative approach is much more than just a way of resolving an issue. It is about resolving issues AND changing relationship dynamics, so that future disputes are less likely, and should they occur, more readily and effectively resolved by the parties themselves.

For disputes other than divorce, the Collaborative team consists of Collaborative Coaches for each party and the other professional disciplines required to implement a settlement (such as attorneys or financial specialists).